"Divine Feminine"

How Social Media and TikTok Has Destroyed This Term

TikTok has destroyed the meaning of “Divine Feminine.” This idea that living in your divine femme energy requires softness, beauty, non-reactivity, and allowing men ( divine masculine) to lead. It has become this concept pushed by TikTokers and “New Age Spirituality,” telling women to embody this energy in order to attract a man. There is also a trend in women promoting these ideas, and there is a clear erasure/attack on women of color and the societal damages that have forced them into an alleged “masculine energy.” This idea has become a way to promote clean, soft, skinny, and always put-together women who remain passive to attract a man into leading/maintaining a stress-free lifestyle for them. When we are going to be talking about terms like Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine, it is important to go to the origin of these terms. Spirituality is not a trend, and social media has destroyed the true philosophy and meaning behind these archetypes. A society built on true divine feminine energy serves women. It does not limit them to the role of trophy wives, housekeepers, and trad-wives. The current definition circulating on social media perfectly represents this, which puts the power into the hands of the far right. The real Divine Feminine destroys the patriarchy instead of enforcing its idea that women fall into a singular category. If you are being called towards a spiritual path, it is important to educate yourself through books, various philosophies, and origin of religions. The place to begin this journey is not through Instagram reels and TikTok, where the majority of creators are spreading trendy misinformation.

The idea is not to live in the Divine Femme or Divine Masc, but to instead find the right balance of them both within yourself.

“Religion based entirely on feminine energy, however, is as unbalanced and unnatural as one totally masculine in focus.”(Cunningham, Scott. Wicca: A Guide For The Solitary Practitioner, 2004, Page:11)

Let’s look at the origin of the Divine Feminine and Masculine concept. Throughout history, many pre-Christian religions incorporated the idea of the Dual Gods or Celestial pairs that represent two opposing forces that together create the universe. I like to look at Wiccan and Daoism (Taoism) when exploring these conversations, as I feel their definitions align most with my own understanding. It doesn’t limit them as the only source; you will find the concept of Yin/Yang and masculine/feminine in Baltic/Germanic, Hindu, Norse, Japanese, Poleynisian and many more polytheistic religions. When we come across these ideas, modern-day society lacks the depth of thinking that allows these concepts to exist outside of gender. Yes, the characteristics of these ideas align with certain genders, but in the grand scheme of the universe, they are genderless. In Wicca, they are commonly known as the Goddess and the God, but they are also considered nameless and have no fixed form or limitations. For many, it is easier to name them to identify these entities. “The Goddess has been depicted as a huntress running with her hounds; a celestial deity striding across the sky with stardust falling from her heels; the eternal Mother heavy with child; the weaver of our lives and deaths; a crone walking by waning moonlight seeking out the weak and forlorn, and as many other beings. But no matter how we envision her, she is omnipresent, changeless, eternal” (Cunningham, Page:12) . The Goddess is the creator energy, giving birth to the cosmos and the embodiment of fertility, love, and abundance. She is nature in its entirety and seen as the Moon. The Earth Mother. “But as life is her gift, she lends it with promise of death.” (Cunningham, Page:11) God is the Sun, and the source that brings light and warmth. The Sky Father. “We see the God in the sun, brilliantly shining overhead during the day, rising and setting in the endless cycle that governs our lives. Without the sun we could not exist; therefore it has been revered as the source of all life, the warmth that bursts the dormant seeds into life and hastens the greening of the earth after the cold snows of winter.” (Cunningham, Page:12) Both working together in unity create the universe and the cycles of life and death. One cannot exist without the other, and they are equal in every way.

In Daoism (Taoism), we see a similar concept when we look at Yin and Yang. Two opposing forces that complement one another in energy. There are no singular truths; each part of life is ingrained with a piece of both. Yin is the darkness, correlated with feminine energy: Moon, Cold, Water, Passive, Intuitive, Soft, Negative. While Yang is the light, correlated with masculine energy: Sun, Hot, Active, Logical, Loud. When we look at the symbol of Yin and Yang, you will see a smaller circle of white/black in the opposing side, showing that all things exist with a bit of both. There are no absolutes, and when looking to incorporate these energies into our lives, the goal is the search for balance. Leaning into either energy in totality is an imbalance. The goal of these energies is wholeness and togetherness, not using the attributes of one to manipulate the other. Knowing when it’s time to act and when instead you should just observe.

“Being and non-being produce each other. Difficult and easy complement each other. Long and short define each other. High and low oppose each other. Fore and aft follow each other.” (Lao, Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 2, Translated by John H. McDonald)

These energies are supposed to exist together within us and can present outside of us in whatever way feels natural and authentic to the individual’s experience. Humans are flawed and complex beings. We are not the gods of old in human flesh; we are pieces of them. Fragments scattered upon the earth, experiencing a physical world. Meant to be explored, lived, and constantly evolving. I often write about the duality of womanhood and how this experience varies from person to person. My problem with the way these creators are pushing this narrative of “Divine Feminine” onto women creates the idea that the way they are living is wrong. As if we haven’t seen the vast spectrum of womanhood in the deities represented in each culture. Femininity isn’t softness or smallness; it is balance and the creation. It is also the end of empires and the darkness within us that we all fear. The true “Divine Masculine” embodies his divine feminine side. If you asked me, we should be pushing that narrative onto men instead. Let them learn how to kneel and worship the duality of femininity, and perhaps more women will naturally fall into their softer side without being shamed into it.

These ancient archetypes have existed for eons and cannot be packed into a small, digestible form.

Hustle culture, capitalism, and the patriarchy have led society as a whole to live out of alignment with natural order. A natural order that the right has skewered into gender roles and outdated ideas. You cannot be in your divine feminine energy until the patriarchy is dead. The true divine feminine is EQUAL, she is protected, revered, supported, and most importantly, she has the right to do what she wants to do with her body. We shouldn’t be promoting the embodiment of this energy; instead, we should be screaming death to the patriarchal system. You can seek deeper alignment within yourself, but the goal should be for yourself. You cannot access the soft parts of your being without first facing the dark part. The pain, trauma, and conditioning we call carry. You will also continue to carry these triggers for the rest of your life. You can get better at identifying them and reacting differently when they present themselves, but you cannot truly erase them. The idea that TikTokers are pushing is actually just rooted in their privilege. It is a privilege to have slow mornings filled with cute little self-care rituals. It is a privilege to be able to pour money into your image and health with expensive products. The reality is that most women do not have access to these things. We are working 24/7, sometimes more than one job, on top of being mothers or integral members of a family structure. On top of schooling, chasing a career, pursuing our dreams, and, quite frankly, just trying to survive.

It is a privilege to have time, money, and an environment where you can pour life and energy into yourself.

Meeting your inner child doesn’t require a luxury trip to Bali or a spiritual retreat that only the 1% can afford. Most of these workbooks, retreats, and conferences you’re being sold are just putting money into the pocket of those who have a completely different life from ours. The rest and stillness that they claim is required to tap into this energy is oftentimes not accessible to the day-to-day working woman. It is just another scheme to make you feel like you are not doing enough. Placing blame once again on women for not being able to attract their soulmates. Yes, we are the creators of our reality, but we are also living in a system that attacks us from every angle. Living in your divine feminine means trusting your intuition, honoring your rage, and creating an expression. How do we leave survival mode and focus on presence over productivity when we live in a society that forces us into these roles? How do we lead from the heart and allow love to thrive when we are so angry? Angry at the world for failing us, angry at the structures put in place that strip us of our rights. Food, shelter, and water are basic human rights, and yet we must kill ourselves to receive them. It would be nice to live in the divine feminine energy these influencers talk about, but this is a man’s world. Until that changes, stop telling women they need to change and become softer.

We cannot be soft in a world built on harming, killing, overpowering, and controlling women.

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“The Wild Woman is the one who dares, who creates, and who destroys.”
― Clarissa Pinkola Estés

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This piece was inspired by my close friend’s Instagram rant. To her, I say,

“ Love you, Diva. Keep educating and inspiring the people.”